Yagshemash! A few days ago my father Borat was at a Dutch talkshows “Jensens.” The whole nation of Kazakhstan was watching him through the two sattelites located in the uplands of Kusek and mountain range of Trobek. Because of bad weather we managed to see only half of the show. Premier Nazarbayev was very upset and he personally ordered the mages to spirit away the clouds. They were unsuccessful and were execute and left for eagles for food.
This was the first time of him in the Holands. He very excite. A night before he go to Red Light District - very nice. Very many nice lady. Wah Wah Wee Wah! But is very confusing - In Kazahstan Red Light District is a small region where woman are not prostitutes! I do not understand this. I hope my father explains me another time a little better.
Later my father go to a club called a Cockring. Very nice. There was only one woman a very similar to Kazakhi woman - deep voice, hair on hands. And she speak with Borat. He got with her to a hotel but very tired and in the morning he had bruises all over his knees and his anus hang loose like a tired dog’s mouth.
Borat on Dutch Talkshow Jensen Part 1 of 4
Please if you interested, continue with reading.
As I wrote earlier, we managed to see only half of shows so we had to send a Kazakhi spy to the Dutchlands and get recordings of other part of our national hero on videos. Enjoy!
Borat talk about his family his mother Mariam Taliakbaj and Boltok the Rapist. He make a rape and this how Borat born.
Borat a former husband of Oksana Sagdijev who daughter of Mariana Toljaska and Boltok the Rapist.
Borat grow up in Kazakh town Kusek who three miles north of Jew Town.
Borat study plough in Astana University. Before working as journalist he did many other jobs.
Ice maker, gipsy catcher and work as spermatozoid release from animals. He collect liquid explosion from animals.
Now Borat wife dead. High Five! But she boring. When Borat buy her from her father for 12 gallons of insecticide she very nice - very good on plough, vagin work well. But once she fifteen her voice become deep and she grow hair on hands and back. She die outside house she mistaken as a bear and shot by hunter.
Then Borat talk about me and other sons. Huey Lewis make a surprise for all of us and grow 3 centimeter last year and now is 15 centimeter in size!
Lewis now work as Kazakhstan teletubby but he a bit embarassed in sex scene.
Please, you watch:
Borat on Dutch Talkshow Jensen Part 2 of 4
Borat recently make a movie films. If movie not success he execute.
There many information that Kazakhstan premier Nazarbayev angry with Borat. This is simply not trues.
They say in New York Times in 4 page advertisement things about Kazakstan like there is freedom of religion, woman do not live in cages and that we do not drink fermented horse urine. This is all disgusting alligations. This a part of propoganda campaign against Borat and Kazakhstan from assholes Uzbekistan.
If there is one more insultings from Uzbeksitans then there Kazakhstan will be left with no other option than military action. We will start bombarding their cities with our catapults.
United states premier Georges Walter Bush not only very wise but also very strong but not as strong as his father Barbara.
Borat laugh about Shakira on Jensen show. In Kazakhstan shakira mean vagina. For example: “Can you show me your shakira?” or “Enough looking at your shakira!”
Borat film in Kazakhstan very successful. Already number 1 film and knocked off King Kong which been blockbusters since 1932. My father’s film play in whole of Kazakhstan in all three of our cinemas.
In film Borat fall in love with the most beautiful woman on Earth - Pamela Andersons.
After movie presentations Borat return to home country Kazakhstan but he has a legal problems. While in US and A he did not realize that it was illegal to shoot at red indians. There was no signs that it was not allowed.
We do not know when we make a new movie because only camera in Kazakhstan booked for 18 months.
Borat on Dutch Talkshow Jensen Part 3 of 4
In Kazakhstan it is an insult not to allow touch khram. To show that not a luli-luli. That a sign of respect.
Borat on Dutch Talkshow Jensen Part 4 of 4
Good times.
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I found this interview funnier than the BBC one. I would like to see Bilak join him in an interview. The Shakira and Bush comments were extremely funny. The whole interview was entertaining…
Rachel, you see this internet blog posts:
Bilak on Televisions with his Fathers
I on telvision with our number 1 person in Kazakhstan - Johnny the Monkeys!